More recent spiritual teachers such as Arnold Patent also tell us to put our lives where our mouths are. His Circle of Love and Joyfulness emphasizes giving as much as receiving. Yes, money is an expression of plenty, but it only matters as a way to give back, not as a tote board for how big your….ego is.
Leo Buscaglia went even further. In his equation, love is not something that can be given, but only may be received. Similarly, you can’t “give” gratitude. Only those who benefit from acts of gratitude can name them as such. Anyone who claims they have gratitude is just a self-absorbed showboat begging for attention.
“Anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given.” – Deepak Chopra
Now, appreciating all you have is indeed a lovely idea, so much so that we Americans have created an annual national day of Giving Thanks. It is our most widely celebrated and beloved holiday, the mostly non-religious feast of plenty that virtually all Americans fondly embrace.
So we gather, maybe say Grace, gorge on a feast and slip into a tryptophan-tastic daze. Yet the way we show our thanks on that day is quintessentially American in other ways too.
For most of us, the Thanksgiving consists only of sacrificing millions of turkeys and tons of cranberries to our burgeoning waistlines. Some volunteer to serve at a soup kitchen that morning, but most volunteer merely to watch football and gossip about Uncle Charles. So much for being grateful.
“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” –Proverb
Critics slag the Millennial generation for their sense of entitlement in the absence of any real achievement. But bless those kids: they also share a deep commitment to public and community service, to giving back, and giving back joyfully. Whoever said that about Baby Boomers or Gen X slackers, like, ever?
So it’s time we changed a few things. Stop misusing “gratitude,” both the word and the idea. Gratitude deserves better. Do something, or a lot of things, that show you actually are grateful. For goodness sake, don’t talk about how grateful you are. And wipe that smug, grateful smile off your yaps. Happy holidays!
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. “ – John F. KennedyShare